Do you speak Starbucksese?

January 8, 2007

The hubby just walked into my office after running some errands. One of his stops was an unexpected, on my part anyway, visit to our local Starbucks.

He’s not a coffee fiend, and neither am I really. But I do love Frappuccinos and since I’ve been chained to my PC all day, he decided I could use one. (Just one of the many reasons I’ve kept him around for 25 years!)

However, he found the whole experience a tad bit confusing.

"How come grande isn’t the biggest?" he asked, handing me one of the coffee company’s giant, or venti, versions of my mocha favorite.

"Because ‘venti’ means biggest in the fictional Starbucks language," I replied.

He rolled his eyes and then shot back, "Well, what’s the river between Texas and Mexico? The Rio Venti? I don’t think so!"

And as he walked out, I heard him muttering, "That’ll teach me to learn my made up Italian words."

Yeah, the terminology is pretentious and the beverages expensive, but I still love Frappies. Better still, they’re simple enough so that I can avoid the whole half-caf, decaf, re-caf litany parodied by customers at Frasier‘s Café Nervosa.

For more on Starbucks and words, check out this post from AdFreak.com.

And remember, if you’re up late on April 16 trying to get your taxes done, you’ll want a couple of ventis to get you through!

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Comments
  • Is a venti plus a venti a quaranti?
    If not, I mentioned it here first! If Starbucks ever comes out with a quaranti (sold in a glass bottle inside a paper bag, natch), let me know so I can sue them.

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