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How to tell if Mom and Dad need help

November 23, 2017
Grandparents at family dinner by Katina Rogers via Flickr

Photo by Katina Rogers via Flickr CC

Most of us will spend time with family this Thanksgiving. If the gathering includes an aging parent (or two), it's a good time to gauge how they're doing.

Now I'm not advocating a full diagnostic discussion. That's not only a bit intrusive, but such conversations probably will start fights if your family is anything like mine.

My 80-something mom simply refuses to acknowledge that she's 80-something and that entering her eighth decade presents some limitations. And by refuses to acknowledge, I mean she dives head-first into vehement and lengthy denials.

This is not the best way to spend a family-oriented holiday.

Look, don't ask: Things get even trickier when money is part of the conversation.

So I suggest instead that you use your observational powers as a caring son, daughter, niece, nephew or grandchild to evaluate how an elderly relative is doing and whether that relative needs help.

This week's tax tip, first published around this time last year, examines how we can take time at Thanksgiving to check on aging parents.

BOLO basics for older folks: Not to spoil the Weekly Tax Tip if you'll be clicking over to it for the first time, but easy things to be on the look out (BOLO) for include whether:

  • Mom, Dad or the Grands are having trouble focusing on things, both visually and in conversations;
  • They're neglecting personal hygiene; and
  • They don't seem interested in eating the Thanksgiving spread or any other meals.

Those are all indications that your loved one could need some extra attention and outside help.

I hope, however, that by using the hints in this week's more-than-tax tip you'll discover that things are great with your older family members, this Thanksgiving and for many, many holidays to come.

You also might find these items of interest:

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The More Tax Posts tab at the top of this page will take you to, well, more tax posts. You also can search below for a tax topic. 

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TAX-SAVVY WAYS 
TO WRAP UP 2026

It’s over! With October’s extended filing deadline behind us, it is now time to focus on year-end moves to reduce your 2026 tax bill. 

You’ll find ways to do just that on the Tax Tips page (see the More Tax Posts drop-down menu at the top of the blog), as well as the separate tax tip pages for each month, notably October through December. If you’re on the Tax Tips page, you’ll find a monthly list at the end of this column. If you’re on another blog page, you can head straight to the October tips; at the bottom of that tips page you’ll find links to all the other 11 months’ collections of tax advice.

Not to spoil what you’ll find in that tax advice, but it does cover such things as tax deductions for charitable donations, investment moves that could reduce tax due, and ways to max out your tax-favored retirement savings. 

Finally, as the year winds down, things get hectic. There are lots of other things to occupy our time, like the much more fun upcoming holidays. But don’t lose sight of taxes, since timing is key. To be of use, most tax moves must be made by the end of the tax year. That’s Thursday, Dec. 31, which also is the last business day of the year. 

So that you don’t miss that final tax year deadline, also keep an eye on the countdown clock below. It will keep you on top of just how much time is left to make important, tax-saving moves. (Note: I’m in the Central Time Zone, so adjust accordingly for where you live.)

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